One Vision Blog

I remembered something I forgot to write about that happened to me. Which I’m sure other people will relate to. This is the first time this has happened and it really surprised me.

I went to visit someone and they live on a very busy road.

So after I left the house, I needed to cross the road and the cars were all whizzing about. Coming from a junction, all angles, I tried to cross.

Then all of a sudden it dawned on me. Hit me like a ton of bricks. It was impossible for me to cross over the road.

Walked up and down abit.

Got frustrated.

Wouldn’t ask for help.

So walked soooo out of my way. Same side of road. Further up didn’t help.

Made my way to a coffee shop. Same side. To figure out what to do. As I had to be over the other side to get home. I had planned to walk home.

Got a coffee. Slumped in the chair like a child who had been told the ice cream van had run out of screwballs. Wanted to cry. Seemed so silly, yet so bloody sad.

I wasn’t going to let my plan be spoiled I thought.

Looked at taxi numbers. Got annoyed.

Sipped on my coffee. Looked around. Felt stranded. Such a simple thing to do for most of my life. Cross a busy road. Gone. Just like that.

Got frustrated again, angry, felt vulnerable.

I was only fighting with myself as I don’t usually give in on something. I find a way round it. Remembered traffic lights. That was a ‘I can get out of this and do it’ lightbulb moment.

I walked ages to the traffic lights so I could cross a dual carriageway and then when I finally got to the other side, yippee!

Then another issue arose.

It had got dark. That’s it. Game of Frogger over.

There’s no chance, in the dark, I’m fighting with busy roads. Gave in. Rang a taxi after 1 and a half hours after leaving that house.

Absolutely daft eh?

This may not sound major to those of you who have prize winning eyeballs.

But think about standing near a road. Blurry and you have to cross it. Cars going by. Frightening in all honesty.

Especially if you just realised you can’t do that safely on your own anymore.

Roads are becoming a right problem.

I don’t trust my eyes enough now to be confident that the things I see are there or not.

Recently I was in a shop and I was certain a bloke was in the corner. There wasn’t anyone.

Don’t worry. I know what you’re thinking…

No… I’m not driving anymore. 😉

It’s all to do with that right hand side black blurry smudge. In my peripheral vision. Darkness makes that far worse. Like a blind spot on a car.

The one that’s supposedly not meant to be there as this affects my central vision and ought to be OK.

The one I’m still waiting tests for, which will be obsolete by the time I’ve done.

One day I’ll get the hang of this or maybe finally accept it.

So the eye thing.

If you meet me I will become very conscious not to stare too much.

In the days of yore, when I could see a face clearly. I didn’t really realise I was living the life. Them were the days…

You’d meet someone, say hello talk to their face confidently. Took it for granted without a second thought. Why would I?

These days you meet someone and I tend not to look at their face much. Not confident doing that. Concentrating and being self-conscious too much to really relax initially. If I’m with them long enough then I’ve looked enough to see them and make out what they look like (ish) what I would have seen in the past straight away.

I’m conscious my eyes don’t look right or I’m hiding this condition from you. Or both.

It depends how near to me you are. There’s a sweet spot where I can see better slightly further away. As this, remember, affects my central vision.

The peripheral further away is a lot better. So if someone’s close and I don’t know them, I will back off or my eyes start trying to focus the hell out of themselves, by looking at each of your eyes. Embarrassing. It shouldn’t be. But it is.

By being further away I can just look without my eyes darting about.

The weird thing is.

That really close sweet spot I thought had gone… is back!

So now I’m obsessed with trying to see peoples eyes clearly.

(Stick with me on this…)

Sometimes when I put my makeup on. Looking closely in the mirror. A sweet spot appears where it is amazing clear. Don’t know how.

When this happens I just look. Hoping I won’t blink. It’s quite bizarre for me to see that clearly now. I mean like 20/20 clear.

This is the only time it happens. No blur. Like I used to see. For a few seconds.

It’s like a little gift. Makes me happy 😊

Now I’m wondering if this could happen to see someone else’s eyes?

Bit weird I know.

(Really try and hang on there for this…)

But I’ve not seen anyones eyes clearly for a least a year now. That’s with my glasses on!

It would be strange for me to ask the people close to me if I can find out.

Would have to be someone very close to test this. I mean face to face literally.

I’m not sure if it will ever happen as I already know it would be the cringe of all cringes wrapped in a cringe.

I know my mates and my sister will say… do it with me.. But I don’t think I can.

I hope some of my eye buddies understand this or this all just looks really odd!