Category: Funny Stories

Posted in Before Diagnosis, Funny Stories

Before diagnosis of macular dystrophy – Symptoms

Posted on by One Vision
Photograph of a phone screen sky and tree background with the words 'just been trying to wipe the mucky blob off me phone screens weatherproof widget... It's a tree'

This status written by myself on facebook, ‘just been trying to wipe the mucky blob off me phone screens weatherproof widget… It’s a tree’

It was about the time I couldn’t read the newspaper… But was still oblivious. Came on suddenly, which I now know was the Macular Dystrophy already in there since I was conceived, had tipped the balance and was now saying hello.

Everyones story with this condition will be different, but this is mine.

Posted in Funny Stories, How I'm Adapting

Making up isn’t so hard to do

Posted on by One Vision
Makeup.

There is a way round this for now.
And its this..

A 10X magnifying mirror. You can get stronger strengths of you need them. Saves me from stressing out putting makeup on, doing eyebrows etc and saves time.

Eyeliner takes a while as both eyes have to match, obviously. I’ve nearly gone out with berry coloured lip pencil before now on one eye… Actually.. I’ve just had a thought… If I put some bright nail varnish on the end of the lip pencils.. I will know it’s the lip pencil won’t I? Genius. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that before now. Problem solving. Getting good at this.
Anyway, I’m digressing… they have got to match and usually the first friend I see if I’m going out is greeted by… ‘hello… *hug* is my makeup ok’.
You don’t want to look a clown or drag queen when you haven’t blended your foundation correctly or if one eyebrow is concerned and the other surprised.
Just takes a bit more patience and concentration these days but it can be done ☺
Now nail varnish. This is a pain in the arse. I cannot see my nails to put the nail varnish on. Mainly because the flesh of the fingers and the nails are similar in colour. They sort of merge together.
I hit and hope. Maybe just writing this now has made me think I should fathom out a way. So I will. It may look like this – (please see picture below)… for all I know. Unless I put my fingernails right up to my face to look.
Womans fingers with badly applied red nail varnish
So, I would recommend starting with a 10X magnifying mirror possibly one you can clip or suction into something if there is such a thing (this would have been useful earlier… Please see the False hopes post 😕).
Posted in Funny Stories

False hopes

Posted on by One Vision
Cartoon woman with hand over mouth with red sore eye shut
Sometimes I can forget my limitations. So far not many.

It’s like with some things I forget I can’t see properly.
For instance. It was one of my sisters from another misters wedding the other week.
So, I thought, I’m going to get some false eyelashes and they will look nice.
So off I went and bought them. Chuffed with my purchase went home and put them with my outfit and waited for my friends special day.
On the big day, I had already done my eyebrows with my magic 10X magnification mirror, (which you can imagine wasn’t easy…another story) my makeup was on with plenty of time to spare. I had spent a lot of time with my magnifying mirror, (another post later about this genius little item).
Then time for the lashes. Popped the glue on, realised I couldn’t hold my mirror AND stick them on at the same time.
Ah, I thought, how am I supposed to do this 🤔
Had to use the big mirror with a magnifying side but not like the shear epicness of my other little magic mirror.
So I thought, I will stick them on and slide them around if I don’t get the right spot. Hard when my double vision was kicking in.
Plopped them on the spot I thought would be right.
Wrong. Too high up and I had bought black blumming glue! I hadn’t seen that detail on the packet.
I stared at my black smudgy, gluey sticky eye.
With not long to go now before I was being picked up.
It\’s a good job I never really wear these often as I could have had a meltdown.
Then I sat down and stared at myself in the mirror and just really started laughing.
A couple of years ago I managed perfectly OK when I popped some on for Halloween. Now it looked like I WAS Halloween or Alice Cooper. So I was surprised.
Now, may not seem much, but getting used to what I can do, what I can find a way to manage to do, and what I can\’t do now when once I could. Is humbling and a challenge. Usually I find a way but this… no chance.
Realising next time I will ask a friend or just buy some better mascara.
I quickly tried to wipe the glue off from in and around my now sore eye. Patch up my makeup to match the other eye then went downstairs.
Then there was a knock at the door. My friend was here to pick me up.
Quick check in the mirror thinking, well I haven’t done so badly with it.
Closer look, one red sore looking weeping eye.
Just when you want to look your best ☺
Hey ho, lesson learnt.