Category: How I’m Adapting

Posted in How I'm Adapting

The Lost Plant

Posted on by One Vision

As it’s been quite lovely weather here for this time of year in little old England, I’ve carried on with my gardening seeing as I’m in full house and garden renovation mode.

The amount of bark I’ve bought is eye watering. But at least I won’t be pulling flowers up as weeds and weeds up as flowers.

For some time I’ve been making my garden ‘eye proof’

As in. The only thing that will need to be done is abit of zhuzhing, hedges trimming and lawn mowing.

I’ve got a cordless trimmer. So I cannot cut through the cord ‘cos I can’t see it.

Also I’ve got one lawn that needs cutting. I had a little one at the front that I’ve now pebbled over. Low maintenance is the word I’m also looking for.

As the years go on I notice the progression of my eye condition when I head out into the garden after a while over the winter months.

Painting my fences (the old ones) from year to year was when I noticed the difference.

When you don’t do something all the time you don’t become aware.

Picking up a paint brush and seeing the ever more blurrier fence, ended up with me painting with my reading glasses on. Was abit of a shock as in “OK. That’s alot worse than last year.”

Then when I was proud of myself for tackling this instead of getting someone to do it for me, someone said “Is it finished? It’s patchy”

I stood back and it was.

It’s OK though. This is the way it’s going to be.

I can’t feel sorry for myself.

I have though, lost a plant.

Not lost it misplaced it.

Lost it after I planted it.

So I had new fences installed earlier in the year. The old ones were hanging on by a thread. Each storm I looked out of the window, one eye open, wondering if they’d survive.

Me and my neighbour kept propping them up until we couldn’t anymore.

The workmen did a good job (Apart from hitting a water pipe, I can’t even go there) All the previous bark was all mulched in the soil during the work, so I had to start again with the weed fabric and the litres upon litres of bark.

Can you tell I’m fed up of it 😁

Now is my chance to redesign the garden and have what plants I’d like in there.

The old ones have gone. Some by accident, some by design.

Some I Google lensed them while walking around if I came across a plant I liked in somebody else’s garden.

Once I’d found out the name, I bought them ready to plant.

My sister helped me go get an olive tree to plant as it would match my gorgeous juniper tree. That was a funny day getting that in the back of a camper van.

My lost plant is a Dahlia Moonfire. Beautiful brown black leaves with big bright yellow flowers. I found this waiting for the bus from my boyfriends house. It’s across from the bus stop in someone’s garden, so I nipped across, leant over, Google lens, jobs a good ‘en.

I cannot see it.

I’ve planted it. I’ve tried to feel for it. It has green buds on. Still can’t see it. I’ve got on my knees, I’ve walked a few feet away.

Thing is, I need to move it somewhere else I’ve decided.

If you see me sweeping my hands over the ground in my garden. I’m not losing it. I’m just trying to find the lost plant.

And no. It’s not that green plant in the photo. That’s a Buddleia ‘Flower Power’ known as a Butterfly bush. So it should attract bees and butterflies. It’s beautiful when grown. Orange and purple poker style flower buds.

I’ve got more bark coming this week!

So I’ll be out there gardening. Making it foolproof, eye proof so when my eyesight deteriorates even more, I can come out and enjoy it without the stress of weeding and pulling up stuff I shouldn’t have. Whilst leaving the weeds.

It’s nearly done now and I’ve enjoyed doing it. I’ve had help from people who have been very kind in helping me chop things down, move stuff I can’t.

I do like to do what I can myself though. Even though those little fences you see as a border? I still have bruises on my hand from hammering my hand sometimes instead of hammering those into the ground. Until my boyfriend told me to put the hammer side ways, which did help me enormously.

Sometimes you can do things you used to do with less central vision, you just have to think out of the box.

A row of wooden fences on the right hand side. Brown bark is next to it then a little fence. In the background there is an olive tree and a green small plant towards the front.
PD 1 A row of wooden fences on the right hand side. Brown bark is next to it then a little fence. In the background there is an olive tree and a green small plant towards the front.
A screenshot of a Dahlia Moonflower. Brown black leaves with a large pom pom style yellow head of petals and a small orange centre
PD 2 A screenshot of a Dahlia Moonflower. Brown black leaves with a large pom pom style yellow head of petals and a small orange centre

Posted in How I'm Adapting

Magnifying for safety

Posted on by One Vision

Something that happened a few weeks ago, twice, because I didn’t use my handy magnifyer. I wouldn’t mind but it’s always in the front of my handbag.

I ended up taking too many Co-codamols for pain thinking they were Paracetamols because I was in a rush to meet my friends at Pontefract, for the VIP meeting there we have every month.

I’d forgotten I had these in my bag and only thought I had Paracetamol.

I ended up realising what I’d done so didn’t drink anything till alot later on. Just because I couldn’t be bothered to use it. It nearly ended up in me not attending at all.

Then, like a complete idiot, I took 2 of the same night-time tablets instead of one of each that I take to help me sleep and for my mental health. So I couldn’t hardly take the correct one aswell, as I’d already taken too many.

Bonkers isn’t it.

I can’t read the back of the pill packets to differentiate what’s what with just my glasses on and these silly moments of not getting my magnifyer out could have caused no end of sickness or problems for me so I’ve learnt my lesson.

Cartoon image of a blonde long haired woman. Sat with knees bent with pill packets in different colours and pills, on the floor, by her knees. She holds a bright neon yellow magnifying glass reading the packets and discovering what they are.
PD 1 Cartoon image of a blonde long haired woman. Sat with knees bent with pill packets in different colours and pills, on the floor, by her knees. She holds a bright neon yellow magnifying glass reading the packets and discovering what they are.

A photograph of a neon yellow magnifying glass placed on a brown table in close up.
PD 2 A photograph of a neon yellow magnifying glass placed on a brown table in close up.
Posted in How I'm Adapting

10 years on…

Posted on by One Vision

28th of May 2015 was the day I was diagnosed with Macular Dystrophy.

Ten years ago today.

“I’m so sorry” said The Consultant. “There’s nothing we can do”. I didn’t understand. I’d never heard of a macula. Just thought I’m in my 40s, will probably need glasses. There can’t be anything wrong.

She asked if there was anyone with me. There wasn’t. As I’d just thought there wouldn’t be anything wrong.

I was let go. Popped my yellow sheet in the tray at reception, to receive another appointment.

I had a confusing, stunned, walk back alone through the hospital grounds and through the park. I sat for a little bit on a bench. Somehow knowing this was a ‘big’ thing I’d have to face, without knowing what that was exactly. Just enjoying the late spring sunshine and looking at the beautiful trees dotted around.

A brown long haired cartoon woman, sits on a green bench in a park setting. In the background there is grass and tall trees. She wears a purple skirt, black leggings, Black vest top with red shoes. Her green eyes are looking towards the camera
PD A brown long haired cartoon woman, sits on a green bench in a park setting. In the background there is grass and tall trees. She wears a purple skirt, black leggings, Black vest top with red shoes. Her green eyes are looking towards the camera

At this point and the few months afterwards, they were abit of a dazed blur to be honest. Trying to understand what this diagnosis was, when there was hardly any information or blogs around, was an astounding learning curve.

I learned that even though I had 20/20 vision at that point, it wouldn’t always be this way. This is genetic.

For the first few weeks I was avidly eating Vitamin A enriched foods as I was initially mixing this up with Macular Degeneration (NOT my condition) and then after learning my eyes don’t process Vitamin A properly, and finally realising that this was the problem with my eyes and the driving force of the damage and therefore the progression of this condition, I made sure I just ate a normal daily allowance of these foods.

I was in shock for a long time afterwards with worry for my future.

Eagerly Googling, searching social media, blogs, everyday for ages, trying to find someone with this malady. So they could tell me how long I’ve got to see properly. I realise now that was fruitless. We are all different.

Initially I panicked and tried to find everything about how people with this condition progressed in the future. How long would it take till I would have real problems? Would I go Blind? What would my future look like?

I stopped smoking (Eventually) I settled into what I knew about this condition and came to the conclusion there was nothing I could do and worrying, causing me stress, was probably not going to help matters.

I had a boat load of tests and check ups. All to no avail really. Saw lots of different consultants, at 3 different hospitals. Apart from them finding two medium sized retinal detatchments, that grounded me for a while in the UK. They eventually shrunk over the years and the last time they checked they were an extra small one in my left eye and none, in my right.

It did became seemingly pointless to me to have anymore of the tests after these detatchments had shrunk down. After all there is nothing that can be done about my Macular Dystrophy diagnosis… Yet. Then Covid-19 came, and I never did get to see the results. That really messed it all up.

10 years on I’m so very thankful my progression has been slow. Any adjustments to my sight, I’ve been able to cope. Subconsciously or consciously. My eyes are adapting, I’m learning to take things slower and be more patient with myself.

I was worried this condition was speeding up abit when I stopped driving, as this was before the 5 to 15 year window that the first consultant said I had before being within the Blindness spectrum and therefore having to rethink alot of my life as it was.

I’ve had distinct periods of my eyesight getting worse. The times I’ve thought it would ‘mend’ itself because I must be tired or stressed, wasn’t to be.

I’ve noticed big jumps in the difference if I’ve not done something for a while. This usually involved something like painting the fence a year on. Painting the house with reading glasses on to which both still was a patchy mess.

I stopped driving in 2019. 4 and a half years on from being diagnosed. That was sooner than I expected.

It was hard because I had driven for 29 and a half years at this point. I was used to, for nearly 3 decades, bobbing about when I wanted to. Nipping here and there.

I was a nervous bus passenger at first. Same with taxis. Didn’t think they would turn up or they would take me to the wrong places.

Now, I love the bus and trains especially. Looking out of the window is still a novelty to me, even after all this time. I couldn’t do that driving. Relaxed and now confident with other forms of transport, I go on my merry way and have had adventures I wouldn’t have had and the coach holidays seeing all parts of the UK I may never have seen.

Last year I had a period of falling over and hurting myself.

I definitely need a cane for night time. That’s without a doubt. A battle in my head I have to get over with. I’ll talk about it one day. I cannot at the moment.

It is time to do some cane training. I’ve known this for a while.

All in all I’m not anywhere near I’d thought I’d be at the start.

I’m lucky. I know that. For alot of things are so different than 10 years ago.

I’m better than ever.  A much healthier and happier person than I was.

I appreciate so much. The little things. I do stop and look around if I’m on a walk or even just out shopping. I try to see everything I can, albeit in a blurred world.

Sometimes it’s abit like being a swan gliding along on the surface. In reality, nobody can see how hard underneath I’m concentrating on moving along, scanning, trying to make objects out, blumming kerbs and uneven surfaces. Steps are an absolute pain.

One thing’s for sure in my uncertain world. Is that I’m very grateful for how I’m still managing this in my own little way. 10 years ago, I don’t think I could have wished for more than to be as I am now.

If you’d like to read a more indepth diagnosis post. Below is a link to my first ever post. This was about what happened at my appointment with the eye clinic and what happened there 10 years ago today.

Click link for my first ever post about my diagnosis